Jesus the Frasier of Nazereth

If you hate us, don't use anything we invented

Hitler's Shenanigans

We didn't have the technology, all we had was milk

Got my bell rung

Do you prefer Noriyuki or Pat?

The best part about being Bill Gates is he can condescend to Donald Trump

I just feel like the omlet chef resents you

It's the most intimate moment of my day at Trader Joe's

The Oreo was already great & then just kept getting better like Michael Jordan

I'm not only saving the majestic sea turtle but also the near defunct pipe cleaner industry

I would categorize the Communism at Trader Joe's as Narnian

They Were Diabolical. They Were Ruthless. They Were Without Ruth

Smashing Backboards - Gary Gulman

Nobody said anything brave or courageous & then backtracked. Just sayin'.

Cops pulled me over for an inspection sticker violation but here's the misunderstanding

Tastes like a manilla folder, I've had it before, it's awful

I love Netflix, chief reason of all, they brought Blockbuster to its knees