Nineteen-thousand nine-hundred and ninety-five shiny pounds. You could buy an awful lot with that. Or you could buy the Toyota Corolla Compressor. The Corolla T-Sport is about to be decommissioned ...

How do you extract a partially chewed Jaffa Cake from your left lung? Cough. Hard and repeatedly. Obviously, first you must choke on said orangey confection, and to get enough indignation to swallow ...